I have come to the conclusion that I am nobody. I am one who fails at every commitment ever made. Most importantly my commitment to Christ. I hardly ever pic up my Bible anymore I feel like such a fraud. The Word of God I know to be his love displayed to a wretched unworthy world. He became manifest in the flesh to redeem me!? I know that he is omni- everything which means that becuase I have accepted Him He will not just give up on me. For He knew the very moment I would forget him, the very moment I would rebel in my heart and He forgave it....all of it on the cross. I am so sorry Lord! I can say these words with all emotion, with full sincerity, but why will I walk away and forget him in my next breath? This is the dichatomy of man we put God in a nice little box so we can sit at the throne of our own hearts and make Him our conveinant footstool. I ask how can our Lord be so long suffering? Forgetting that long suffering is one of his eternal attributes that can never be diminished. I am a carnal, nominal, luke warm Christian... Can such a one even be considered worthy of the crown of life.
I preached a sermon a while back in my home church I called "free grace, at a price" In it I basically said that if we truly considered what was done on the cross for our sake, made it our daily meditation, and honestly strove to pick up our cross daily and die unto ourselves. Then there is no way we could continue on in the sin that we do. I was reading Bonhoeffer at the time and hopefully reconciled it with the grace of God properly. 2 John v. 6 says and this is love that we walk in obediance to His commands.... Read Psalms 119:97-128 and you will see the link between love and obediance. John 14:15 Our Lord himself says; If you love me you will obey my commands. Galatians 5:6 says that....For in Christ neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. 1 John is chalk full of what our love should look like. I am talking about gift love here the same love which was displayed when Christ willingly went to the cross for our sins even though we did nothing to deserve it. I know even now all my righteousness is as filthy rags and I am Justiflied by Faith and there is nothing I can do that it is all his work being done in me. I still want to grow and change and put away childish things. "Work in progress" I commit myself into your able hands mold me and make me Lord.... Lord God Almighty, Savour, Master, Creator of heaven and earth. Help me to love, calm my anxious thoughts, guide my forward steps in your divine purpose, help to be more you and less me by loving my brother and giving to those in need. I ask all of this in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen!