http://www.picturetrail.com/jamesquinn

Here is the link to my pictures page; finally! I hope you enjoy them and thank you Ro :)

The link on top is to my pictures you will have to copy and paste becuase I don't know how to out them on as a link. God Bless you I hope you enjoy them.

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you... 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. The Word of God is complete, God's word brings me my only consulation. To know that I am to go joyfully to whatever God wills for me is hard at times. All I have to do is remember my thoughts of former days, how sorrow and suffering kept me company in my midnight hour. I have to keep in mind that in my worst moments of sin when I was sure there was no forgiveness. In these moment's I remember "God's grace is sufficient for me, for his strength is made perfect in my weakness." I remember that I carry about with me always the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus might be revealed in me. No matter what trials might come my way I can rest assured in his promises to me "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."
I like John Piper and his "Christian Hedonism". I completely agree with his thinking, we are commanded to rejoice in all things. James 1:2 says to count it all joy when we face various trials..." Romans 5:2-4 says "We rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God. Not only so, we rejoice in our sufferings..." Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Paul's prayer for the Roman church in Romans 15:13 is May the God of hope fill you with "all" joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Trusting in Jesus is a moment by moment venture. I write these words and I quote these scriptures as one who has no other comfort in this life. Even if I where not to recieve any of the promises made to me, would it not be greater still to be spent for the truth? To say that I lived serving the one true God, there is no higher calling. I accept my pain joyfully knowing that God has my best interest in mind. I know that nothing lame or halt can enter into the kingdom of heaven, nothing impure can enter. So it only makes sense that he is refining me and purifying me in the consuming fire of his presense. All there is left for me to do is moment by moment to lift up empty hands of faith to a God who is there. I was born spiritually, which is important just as my physical birth was important, for without being born I would not have the life I live today. Trusting God that my sins have been forgiven and I am saved is Justification. Once we move on from this point what is important is our Sancification, meaning our day by day, moment by moment reliance upon the finished work of Jesus Christ. No matter how far we go in our Christian faith we cannot outgrow our need for Jesus, In fact I find the opposite to be true the more I serve the more I need him.

Being tired like I am right now is normally enough to keep me from writing in my blogger. When I am tired I write about things that are really bothering me... so here goes. In my last post if you couldn't tell the major themes are my own pride and my search for significance. As I stated I know beyond doubt that who I am is defined by the finished work of Christ. What I want to expose is where that line of thinking comes from. You see it seems like most everyone I know is finding there significant other to share in this life with. I am not jealous or angry in anyway, in fact I am joyed by this fact. This does leave a slight question mark on my own heart. I ask myself and God whether or not I am meant to have a wife? I try not to think of it, but in my mind it remains to be found out. Really, I have decided that if I am to be single I will do it for the glory of God, Iv'e decided that he is more than enough for me.
My selfishness and pride come into play is in questions like; am I good enough for a wife? Can I love as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her? In asking these questions I ask myself if I am really seeking God, truly seeking?! I do not want to be in a relationship and have doubts about whether or not I know what love is... I want true love to be an inherent part of my new nature. I want to give of who I am freely not worrying about the returns. I am scared that my love will hurt someone instead of heal. I have seen love used in this way my whole life, (not really love at all) from within my family, I am scared that in some way I might do the same. 1 John 4:18 says; There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
My doubt, my fear, and anger will never accomplish the righteous life that God desires out of me. Corrie Ten Boom, the author of The Hiding Place when experiencing hardship in the Nazi concentration camps prayed to Jesus and asked for him to take away what she could not carry. For her, it was the anger she felt towards those who held her captive. In the end she realized that those who kept her captive where the real captives.They had on the "man made manticles" of sin which so easily ensnare us. If she did not forgive them she would never be free herself, but she gave this to God for it was to heavey for her. Years later she witnessed about God's love; not only to the former concentration camp inmates, but the guards as well. When I read that I realized that it is not giving up on my thoughts about marriage, and about my issue with pure love, it is giving them up to Christ that is important. If I start to sound like a broken record in the weeks and years to come it is becuase I am a slow learner. I will continuely be saying; "Oh... Lord Jesus, you can carry this too?" as I hand the fragments of my broken heart to my Lord who is able.
I have only had one girlfreind in my life, whom I truly loved, or thought that I did. I remember always being afraid of what books she was reading, and what classes she took in school. I never said any of this to her I didn't want to sound like a psycho. But there remained a part of me that was so afraid that if she spend her time reading secular books that her relationship with Christ would suffer. It only seemed natural that your whole focus should be for the glory of God and nothing else should matter. I realize that I am not perfect though, and in this realization understood that I was being controlling. I never acted on these thoughts of asking her not to be or do certain things at least I hope I didn't. The realization that I thought like my father in this area scared me enough to make me doubt whether I should ever attempt to be in a relationship. Again Lord, I ask you to take this fear from me also, I cast all my cares upon you Lord, this moment I lay all of these burdens down at your feet. Take from me all my unrighteousness and make me acceptable in your sight. I love you Jesus, and I thank you for all of your great and many mercies. Well enough out of me. If you read this please pray that the Lord supplies the strength I need to give all of these things to Him.

Here is an excerpt from the book 'The Great Divorce' this particular interaction in the book is between C.S. Lewis and his guide through heaven George Mac Donald. A saint of God was unable to convince a man to give up his sin and in the process the man tried to use pity to sway the saint the mans attempt failed.

'even now I am not quite sure. Is it really tolerable that she should be untouched by his misery, even his self-made misery?'

'Would ye rather he still had the power of tormenting her? He did it many a day and many a year in their earthly life.'

'Well, no I suppose I don't want that.'

'What then?'

'I hardly know, Sir. What some people say on Earth is the final loss of one soul gives the
lie to all the joy of those who are saved.'

'Ye see it does not.'


'I feel in a way it ought to.'

'That sounds very merciful but see what lurks behind it.'

'What?'

'The demand of the loveless and self-imprisoned that they should be able to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven.'

'I don't know what I want, Sir.'

'Son, son, it must be one way or the other. Either the day must come when Joy prevails and all of the makers of misery are no longer able to infect it:or else forever and ever the makers of misery can destroy for others the happiness they reject for themselves. I know it has a grand sound to say ye'll accept no salvation which leaves even one creature in the dark outside. But watch that sophistry or you will make a Dog in the Manger the tyrant of the universe.'

From this point on the story touches on some very profound points... unfortunately I have to type all of this out instead of copy and paste so I will get on to my point from here.
Instantly, upon reading this I remembered some of the sick thoughts that kept me company in my childhood. The prevelent thought being "What if I where to die, they would be sorry then." (when I felt abused or neglected I said such things) and many other such things as this. I would run through scenerios in my mind of their grieving process at my imagined death and say "serves them right" What really struck me is the fear that I might still do this in my life... although not so blatently. I do think about how my death would affect others around me. Basically the whole need for acceptance, in my case by everyone. The question I ask myself is am I significant?
Believe me I know the answer, I know in my heart that Jesus Christ alone is able to give me significance. People often find their significance in the company of others (comparing themselves amoungst themselves). We find something to lay claim too, a talent, a job affiliation, nationality, race, religion etc. and allow this to be the measure of who we are. Many of these I confess are very accurate indicators of who we are synthetic a priori's really. I want to probe deeper yet though and expose the error in this thinking. Meaning is always derived from a mind. We cannot know about ourselves truly unless the mind who created us endowes importance upon us. My search for meaning and significance ended the day Jesus Christ came into my heart and life. "We were created for thee, and our heart are restless until we find our rest in thee." To know that my maker loves me is all that is important. On that day of finality, the day when we shall all stand before Him it will not be what we think of Him; that is important, but what he thinks of me.
The reason I often doubt myself is becuase I am concerned I might not be good enough. The great thing is that I am not and will never be good enough. I am weak I know, but he says; My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness . . . He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
You see it is acceptance, obediance, and love that are necesary. His grace, His power, our weakness, our waiting upon Him! Humility before the throne room of His presence is the only way.
We who follow this narrow way find freedom in who he is despite our circumstances. Let us lay claim not only to the crown of Christ but His Cross also. A.W. Tozer coined these words in his book 'Of God and Men' "The man with a cross no longer controls his destiny; he lost control when he picked up his cross. That cross immediately became to him an all absorbing interest, an overwhelming interference. no matter what he may desire to do, there is but one thing he can do; that is, move on toward the place of crucifixion."
Please read this prayer and make it the prayer of your own heart in your walk.

Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master; grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. -Saint Francis of Assisi