Just some thoughts

http://radio.indymedia.org/uploads/rte-carol-coleman-bush.mp3

Again writing from the desert. I must admit before anyone gets the wrong idea as to what I do here. I am a switchboard operator. I sit and I transfer calls and program calling networks in the middle of a very large Army base. I even work the night shift so that I can read all night and relax. I don't need anything... I have some wants, but who doesn't. Please do not feel I am doing anything brave or noble in being here. Do not begin to think that I am a good man or a good american becuase I am here.
Here is a reality that I dealt with a while back. I remember a mortar round landed on the base probably one mile away from where I am. I remember we had a formation for accountability and had to sit inside our little hut for about 6 hours for safety reasons. I remember that we are the only ones on the base doing this seeing that there are daily mortar attacks. I was so mad, I was outraged at the stupidity of my superiors, outraged that they could belittle, discourage, and putdown all of the marines. Why would they make our lives so much harder than they already are? why not be more sypathetic to the fact that many of the young marines are scared and stressed? I felt like exploding, how could power so thouroughly corrupt?
Then... I stepped outside the neat little arguement I was having in my head, looked past my own momentary anger and let reality set in. The sound of AK-47's, 50cal. machine gus, Howetzers, and mortar rounds in the distance meant people were dying. My friends, my brothers in arms, strange men fighting for their country and a strange religion, one and all meeting a common fate. How could this be real? Is this the ultimate end of hatred? death. Love consumates in two becoming one flesh, love produces new life, what of hatred? I began to think seriously how I would react to bullets flying at my head, of having to take a man's life or possibly a women or child with a bomb attached to them. Does bravery apply? Fear drives a cornered rat to lash out, wouldn't my actions be much the same? I wonder how any arguement stands, any rationale, or moral deduction in light of kill or be killed. It seemed easy a few days ago, now I am not to sure.
All I really want is to be with the Lord now. The word says he put His Spirit in me that cries out "Abba Father!" I need to know Christ and Him alone. I have been praying for the reality of the Holy Spirit in my life. I have also been thinking about the role of the Holy Spirit and its Personhood. The truth of God dwelling in me. The truth of spiritual revelation vs. intellectual ascent. The impossibility of knowing God outside of the Holy Spirit. Philosophy, I realize now Philosophy cannot bring a system to bridge the chasm of unknowing. Neither can any of the ways of man attain God's presence outside of God himself. A.W. Tozer says this;

"You see, the Holy Spirit rules out and excludes all Adam's flesh, all human brightness, all that scintillating human personality, human ability, and human efficency. It makes Christianity depend upon a perpetual miracle. The man of God, the true Spirit-filled man of God, is a perpetual miracle. He is someone who is not understood by the people of the world at all. He is a stranger. He has come into the world by the wonder of the new birth and the illumination of the Spirit, and His life is completely different for the world."

This isa what I desire to be set apart.

Listen to the interview with Bush on top tell me what you think.... Seriously!