So here I am in lovely 29 Palms, California, the sign upon leaving the Marine Corps base says; "29 Palms, an oasis of murals". The one who spoke such words spoke truth, the receipt of which is the cool breezy evenings. It is during these mild evenings that the waning sun seems determined to show forth it's final brilliance, in an effort to ward off the impeding night. This is accomplished in rich layers of orange red hues that expound upon the majesty of the craggy mountains to the north. The before mentioned sunset, coupled with the gluttonous night sky, full to excess of the starry hosts, dawns realization. These remote beacons that have guided mankind upon the high seas from times nearly beyond recollection, are indicators of a glory greater than themselves; a glory that leaves mankind without excuse or recourse.
Strange to me that in my youth I looked up to the ever faithful heavens already knowing that beauty was an intrinsic part of life. Now, as I grow older I find I have to squint to see the stars and the beauty of them I almost have to internally compose. (in part because I lost my glasses) Why now should I have to strive to realize wonder and beauty in life, where in my youth it came naturally? I blame sin, categorically speaking, all sin, original, personal, and all other categories one finds fitting. Am I so deluded that I must have grand rhetoric in excess to appease my need? At times I truly fear this could be. Then I ask... What is the point in lamenting the loss of wonder and by who's definition am I defining wonder? I believe if I am clear enough in trying to state a very vague point, I am defining wonder from the standpoint of a child, without ever stating a definition. Well..., here is the definition according to the dictionary:
One that arouses awe, astonishment, surprise, or admiration; a marvel: “The decision of one age or country is a wonder to another” (John Stuart Mill).
The emotion aroused by something awe-inspiring, astounding, or marvelous: gazed with wonder at the northern lights.
An event inexplicable by the laws of nature; a miracle.
A feeling of puzzlement or doubt.
often Wonder A monumental human creation regarded with awe, especially one of seven monuments of the ancient world that appeared on various lists of late antiquity.
This brings me to my realization of wonder as a man. God in all of His majesty, glory, strength and loving kindness is wonderful! The more I search the depths of love and mercy of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit dwelling within me, the more I sacrifice myself for the gospels sake, the better I am able to receive wonder with thanksgiving. The true wonder is expressed here for me; "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit". As I contrast the wonder I now behold, with the things thought wonderful in my youth, I realize they are both good. As I am being transformed into His likeness I am able to see life in a new light. As a child I did not understand what sacrificial love meant and even now only have a conceptual understanding of it. Even this dim understanding is enough to stir a desire to realize experientially "gift love" in my own being. So the wonder I now posses becomes clear in the love between a man and a women, in seeking to understand the rational mind of God, and in the hope that all I do, can and will be for the glory of God.
Just today two events occurred that put a rebuke on my heart. The first was right away in the morning as I woke up the Marines who work under me to get ready for the work day. One of the being PFC Josh Flamez a very good natured young man who happens to be a brother in Christ. He had a attitude problem in the morning to say the least. Normally such would incur the full wrath of an NCO in the Marine Corps, but, since I am a "civilian trapped in a Marines body" I handled a little lighter, which was just a firm warning to change his attitude. This same man young man was found later hiding in between two humvee's (hummer's) crying. When asked a reason why, he said that his parents were getting a divorce. Lesson to be learned from this; be more sensitive and less judgmental. The second happened this evening after returning from a Bible study, I was standing by some of the people I work with still holding my Bible and one of my Marines asked why I was going to Bible study and at the same time talking bad about the "Gunny" and E-7 in the Marines, I am an E-4. He also mentioned how a few days back I had drank a few beers, this I did just intending to be sociable never suspecting that it would cause offense. Mind you I only drank 4 over the course of the day and night, but, I believe the love of Christ compels me to " Let my light so shine before men..." How desperately I need you mercy Lord! I am come casting everything before you, laying all of my burdens down. Lord I believe, yet help my unbelief. Lord I trust, may this trust manifest action. My Wonderful Counselor, my only hope, break this heart of stone so that I may love as you first loved. I ask in faith an obedience to your word, knowing that you are a God who hears the prayers of His people. I ask all of these things in Christ name. Amen