Lord my God, be this night my only teacher, teach me all your ways so that I might walk in them. Your disciples put their faith in you upon the revelation of your glory from water to wine; (Jn. 2:11) I do the same. How easy it is to fall passionately in love with the truth, yet how hard to express! Jesus, not only teach me your ways, but allow the light you have given me to shine before this world as a testimony to your sacrifice. Make my own life to reveal yours. I Lord do not have the strength, but in my weakness your strength is made perfect. Take this life from me Lord, I want it not. Take my world apart... Your will be done in my life Lord Jesus. I am so sorry for my sin, I can do nothing without you, it seems my life would be perfect if only I wasn't constantly in the way. I lay down all of my burdens, my hopes, dreams, aspirations, everything. I cast all my cares upon you for you care for me. I ask you for suffering and reproach in this life Lord! 1 Peter ch.4:1,2 says;
1. Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, becuase he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.
If I seem confused in my most recent posts it's becuase I am... I am trying to live by my strong desire to serve the Lord and subject my own failed battles with sin to Christ. Just this last sunday the pastor of a church that I will not name stepped down from the pulpit. He admitted to the congregation that for the past couple of years he has been carrying on in adulterous relationships with numerous women. How very heartbreaking! How we must watch our steps! Men who read this know my struggle becuase it is so common amoungst us. Jesus deliver me from the body of this death! I don't want to keep fighting a losing battle with lust. I feel as though I will never be ready to marry, never be ready to truly serve until this awful burden is removed from me. You tell me to live by the Spirit and I will not gratify the lust of the flesh, but I confess to you that I can't do it on my own... Lord will you walk with me another mile? I feel as though I am a dog who has turned back to his own vomit, as if I have crucified you all over, like a cloud without rain. What i am you know full well, I don't know why I write my struggles in broad view of all except to say I need help. Lord, I need help! Romans 13:14 Rather clothe yourselves with Christ and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Help me Jesus!