Life is Good....

I will just come right out and say it, I am growing a moustache. Yup, I know there are many, many loyal fans out there who have been desperately waiting to hear this news. This stache is dedicated to all of you Magnum P.I. fans out there. I am hoping for a moderate balance between Tom Selic and Burt Reynolds on this one. My prayer in all of this is that, the end result is not some sparce, scant teenage moustache, or a fu-man chu; only time will tell.
I haven't wrote in my blogger for a while mainly becuase I have been resting so much that I am afraid I have nothing noteworthy to tell about, until of course, my grand epiphany with the handlebar stache I am banking on tumbled out of my childish mind. Other than that I am just chillin in the desert spending a lot of time reading the word and a variety of books. So far this past two weeks I have read Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson, Hard Times, Charles Dickens,I, Issac Take You, Rebekah, Ravi Zacharias, The Aeneid of Virgil, and right now am making my way through Pride and Predjudice, Jane Austen and Civilization On Trial and The World and the West, Arnold Toynbee, then finally The Gospels and Acts in the word. Needless to say I have a lot of free time on my hands.
I have not been my usual self lately, as far as my constant self doubt is concerned. This is a new place for me. I feel a certain peace in my heart about life in general that makes me a little uncomfortable. I have decided it best to call it a blessing from God and just accept my time of rest by keeping a peaceful mind.
If there is a common theme that I have cogitated, or pondered on through the reading I have done, it is the value of devotion. The devotion to duty, or (dooty) that one of the hands aboard the Hispanolia, sp. Tom displayed in being willing to lay down his life rather than mutiny with Long John and the others. The simple honesty and quiet perseverance of Stephen Blackpool as well as the Love and devotion of Sissy in Hardtimes. It should go without saying, all of the valour, courage, devotion, love, and sacrifice so beautifully displayed in the Aeneid was inspiring and educational. Ravi and I go way back... although I don't think I agree with him in all areas I enjoy his personality and heart for the Lord. Did I mention his rappier wit? His book gave me a few more truisms about relationships to spout out and I guess it did reaffirm the fact that relationships are difficult and invovle compromise and all of the same things everyother relationship book says about communication and what not.
Me and relationships I don't see ever really mixing. Of course like most others I hope that I will find the right one and live happily ever after and what not, but as long as I am still me, I don't see it happening any time soon. I suppose looking into the facts to much has not helped at all either. I found the number one cause of divorce, Christians included, is finances, number two is communication, I am deficient in both. This is only two out of about a million reasons I use to convince myself I am not ready. Others are:

1. I need to desire God first then the rest will fall into place.
2. I am ruggedly individual by nature.
3. Based off of my family background a relationship is guaranteed to be 10 times harder.
4. I am an extreme introvert
5. I don't understand women in the least
6. Again, I definitely am really bad with money
7. I think I am the jealous type, although not the psycho kind.
8. I don't think my plans right now include a significant other.
9. I am a card carrying member of BTR (Bachelor Till the Rapture) and would be required to undergo severe ridicule and beatings from the other current members in order to be disenfranchised.
Well the list could go on but it becomes more specified from beyond #9 so that will have to suffice for now.
This is a funny story.
I work for a 35 yr old black man, Gunnery Sergeant Beynen. Anyway, he decided that he wanted us to brainstorm to think of an idea for a T-shirt for our section. So being diligent Marines myself not included, my comrades brought out a plethora of ideas not sparing any sexual innuendo's of course, which I will forego the specifics of for decencies sake, but must mention the shirt "decided" on for humors sake. After long and careful deliberation in one of our staff meetings on the subject my Gunny said. "Yeah, those are nice ideas, but, here is My vision. Picture a big hand in the middle of the shirt and one the top it will read, make sure your pimp... and the bottom will read, hand is strong." It was then decided by my Gunny that the hand would obviously be a black one, on account of the fact that he in his own words is; "a beautiful black man." My initial reaction, dumbfounded silence. My current reaction, dumbfounded and annoyed to sarcasm. What is he thinking! that is the stupiest shirt idea I have ever heard of! Does he expect me to where it? Am I taking crazy pills here or is this not cool? I will take a moment to explain this man in a little more detail from my perspective. He is really task organized, very efficient when it comes to work, a neat freak, perfectionist, and prone to micro-managing. He makes a conscious effort to improve himself as a leader and attempts to be lighthearted at times. Over all, I like his work ethic, don't mind his personality, but am afraid of him and think he hates me and have a hard time working with him on account of it.
That pretty much sums it up for now, I will write more later.