First on to the light matters... I will be leaving for some field training tomorrow that will last for one week. That means I will not be able to have internet access, which is a good thing I think I look here to often to fill a certain void in my heart. Anyways I have fully registered my car now all I have to do is figure out how to do my budget. Oh well, since I already metioned money I might as well make a confession.... I have no sense of financial responsibility at all, I just hope the money is there when I pay my bills. Just wanted to air some more of my apparent flaws maybe doing so will help to change them.
Ok, on to my thought life! I really thank Joyce for the sight with Ravi's MP3 material the "understanding the spirit of our age" lecture by Dr. Zacharias really helped me to see a huge error I have embraced. That is to say my search for self fulfillment and all that it entails. I look back on most of my writing and most of my reading now and don't see service to God, but a quest to understand the longings within me. Honestly, the further I search into my own heart the blacker I find it to be and the more distraught I become. This is because there is nothing good in man. Our natural inclination is towards self, what is better known as pride. Only in seeking to draw closer to Christ (which means denying myself) can I become truly real. I miss many loves in my life, most of them I have never experienced. Strange as it may sound the longings I have within me cannot be fulfilled by always looking within myself. These longings I feel are from heaven, so heavenward I must turn my gaze. I am not home yet that is what I know, this is what I learn fro the Bible. Jesus Christ promises that he has prepared a place for us so let us hope in that.
Here I am! No longer will I feel bad because I do not always feel love, as Sandy pointed out love is so much more than feelings... Joyce is right about Sandy's words you can expand them to all forms of love not only romantic love. The implications of having love for Christ accentuated by those we love is phenomenal! As I have said we only become who we are meant to be by denying ourselves, taking up our crosses and following Christ. Jesus Christ loved the whole world! He died for us who were not deserving of Him! Could we not love in the same way? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, correct wrongs, or to be more specific.... Forgive those who are in your debt in some way not only financially. Invite strangers over to your home for dinner. If a man asked for your coat give him also your cloak. Heck, you could even tell someone about Jesus and help bring them to Christ, then of course give all of the glory to God.
Let us LIVE for Christ.... We could spend our lives on any cause really, any social issue which vexes us now and our lives would not be wasted, so long as we love our brothers and sisters as ourselves. I desire to draw closer to Him and in doing so learn to love my Neighbor. Pray for me as I will be praying for all of you...... Well my one fan that stops in occasionally.... Unless that is just me checking in from a different computer hehehe oh well! I pray that from now on that God may be glorified through my blogger I am sorry for those of you I may have discouraged in the past. I must also apologize for how unorganized this post is I hope the reader can understand it.